La Famille Kelly: Let's Talk Numbers

The countdown is on people. We have entered the zone in which labor is an imminent daily threat and this family is ready to spring into action. Hospital bags are packed (have been for weeks actually). Emergency childcare is in place. The freezer is full of ready to heat meals. My body is screaming with discomfort from every pore, muscle, ligament and vein. I am 200% pregnant and starting to want the babies out more than I want them in.

I think.

With that, I present the Kelly-twins last weeks in the womb by the numbers:

0 - number of days we waited after Thanksgiving to put the tree up. It is Christmas time in the Kelly house. We would hate to be caught unprepared by the arrival of two newborns and miss the season!

1 - the number of times I leave the house on a given day, usually to pick up Hank from school. I am unable to stand for more than 10 minutes at a time without fatigue setting in and I seem to disturb many people when I go out in public. I have become familiar with what it feels like to get double takes in the grocery store, at the bank etc., and not the good kind. I am also trying to avoid having this conversation any more than I need to:

Stranger: "Whoa, looks like you are about to pop any day now!"

Me: "Actually, I have about a month to go. It's twins."

Stranger: "Twins? Wonderful! Is this your first pregnancy?"

Me: "No, my third."

Stranger: "Oh."

To be fair, if the stranger is not American (meaning from the developing world), the reaction is usually very positive - especially when they learn that I will have 2 boys and 2 girls. Then it's like I've won the lottery, which is how I'm trying to look at it too.

Or there was this bizarre encounter at the Air & Space Museum this weekend. A Frenchman (wearing 3 cameras, no less) approached me, proceeded to touch my belly and ask me if there were two babies inside. Lucky for him, I told him, yes, there are. He then confirmed that the two wild boys running around me were mine as well? Yes, they are. Could he take my picture? I was so taken aback that I said yes and then stood there being photographed like one of the large aircraft that surrounded us. I'm probably on his FB page with a caption like "Typical American breeding female, likely a religious zealot, touring her nation's capital on Thanksgiving Day."

3 - pairs of pants that still fit me. I have no shirts that actually cover my entire belly, in spite of having bought a bunch in the size up a while back. Another good reason not to leave the house.

4 - car seats installed in the mini van. Matt has embraced "Max" the van and seems to genuinely like it. I am unsold on it's charms...Max has some work to do in order to win me over.

5 - the number of pillows I sleep with each night in order to get a comfortable enough to fall asleep.

6 - the number of airline seats we will need to purchase to ever travel anywhere again.

7 - sorry, we'll need 7 seats. We will have to bring someone to help us with the kids for the next 5 years.

35 - weeks that is. 3 weeks left until our scheduled c-section.

150ish - christmas cards I have addressed, stamped and sent out in a mad rush this week.

212 - episodes of Property Brothers and Love It or List It I have watched from the couch in a sick addictive binge. Why don't I get tired of the Scott brothers? Why?!

There are 6 days until my next doctors appointment which includes an ultrasound - that should give us a better idea of whether the girls look like they will come early. In the meantime, I'll be watching HGTV. A few pics from the last week below...